At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
