a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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