Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
