I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
