their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
