Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
