if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
