What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
