i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
