my phone needs a breathalizer
one might say we're banned from that church
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
