I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
