Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
