I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
