I am puke
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
