Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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