I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
