YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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