I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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