I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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