All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
