im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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