Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
