It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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