Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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