When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
