and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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