It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
