kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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