i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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