Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She announced her abortion via fbk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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