you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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