Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
