Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think your dad took our porno
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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