He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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