Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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