This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
