I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
