she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
