I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
