I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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