The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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