I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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