You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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