I want you more than these girls want KFC
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
