At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
