just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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