There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
soo... how was my night?
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