She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
