my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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