Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
